”…if society permits one portion of its citizenry to be menaced or destroyed, then, very soon, no one in that society is safe.”
If anyone knows anything about me, they more than likely know of my lifelong struggle of being able to just sit down and bang out a book—of any size—in a couple of sittings, let alone one. Actually I can’t remember the last time, if at all, I read a book in one sitting. There’s been few and very far and between books that I eat up and read rather quickly for myself.
Now amongst these outliers is James Baldwin’s Nothing Personal. I didn’t know it when I picked this book up, but I could’ve read it in an afternoon no problem. I’m rather happy I didn’t, however. There’s plenty in Nothing Personal that gives us readers to chew on in its first couple of chapters—as well as all subsequent chapters. But reading this in two separate sittings and coming out of it with plenty to think about, this arose many questions out of me. Not questions for James Baldwin but more like ponderings about the current times we’re living in and the ways in which we operate and spend our lives.
Why is it we let fear dictate our lives? Why do we decide what we should do based on our own fears? But more than just fear, what am I willing to do to put aside my own safety? What am I willing to do to give love to the people in my life?
These questions are derived because James wants us to re-examine the American Myth and to accept the real, actual, bloody history of the United States from its founding to the present day. How this myth persists in everything from what we consume to the people who cling on to it and refusing to let go of a history that never actually existed.
It’s through human love and connection that James sees a way out and a way forward. We see presently how everyday people wander from place to place feeling unloved but yet longing for it and seeking it from anywhere and everywhere they possibly can. So why do we go looking for love from people who will never give us that love? Why do we go looking for love and acceptance in a history that never happened? What if trying to honor the past—regardless if it happened or not—is what’s killing our future? Not just for us, but for our kids and grandkids.
In a way it reminds me of being young and being told that God loves me and that should be the only love that matters. If that was true, I doubt I would’ve been bothered feeling really unloved and unwanted by those I was surrounded by teaching me about said love. They didn’t love me because they didn’t know the real me. They loved the me that was a suitable version of me for them. One that wasn’t queer or trans. One that minded my p’s and q’s. I longed for them to know and love the real me. But now if I were to go back and talk with many of them, they wouldn’t love this adult me one bit. They would cling to a past that was filled with masks, various costumes, and numerous lies. All things that I no longer carry in my closet.
I honestly wish I owned this book but alas this book is one borrowed from the library. I took a lot from it though and I will continue to take a lot from it. This also felt like a timely read because the world at large, and the U.S. more closely, seems to be shifting—and with everything season there is a turn—towards love. I hope that the recent shift in energy from people continues to feel warmer and loving. I hope we move on from clinging to a past and stop trying to “get back to how things were before” and actually move to “how can we make the future better than the past was”.